Poems by AA Ayu Rahatri Ningrat # Ryhtem to Forget(thing)

A  Beautiful Damn!

Why don’t you love me the way I love you?

Why I always be the one who is waiting for your smile?

Why you never look at me just once?

While I’m here watching you all the time

Thinking of you every second

Wish that I can move on

Forget all about you

But when I remember that face, that smile

It hurts me a lot

When I flashback,

It hurts me a lot

I can not stand it

I can’t stop smiling when I think about you

Damn!

I really love you

(2010)

Ryhtem to Forget(thing)

For a momment

I really wanna forget this world

Forget about me

Forget about you

Forget about us

Forget about them

Forget about my life

Forget about everything

So I don’t have to remember anything

Just wanna look at the sky

Enjoying the time that I have

In a place that wind goes slowly

Wipe all of my pain

Then I wipe my tears

With this cynical face

Realize….

(2010)

Song For Us

Do you remember when we fight?

Do you remember when we arguing a lot?

Do you remember when we laugh and cry together?

Now it’s gonna be just a memory..

You take your path now..

Into a new world…

While I still try to find my own way..

Do you really think that he’s the one?

He’s the one that can make you happy?

Say it to me loudly, answer me straightly,

Because I just want to see, your smile..

After you take that step..

We can’t go back.

Every moment that we have..

Just us..

I can’t go back..

We can’t go back..

We will miss each other..

But I’ll be okay..

We will be okay..

You will fight there.

I will fight here.

(2010)

Mereka Bilang, Saya Bilang

Aku tumbuh dengan perbandingan:

“Dia tak secantik kakaknya, dia terlalu gemuk, dia kurang feminine”

Aku terbiasa menjadi pilihan terakhir:

“Why her? Why not her sister?”

Aku terbiasa dengan perbedaan perlakuan:

“Can u move? I wanna take a picture there” then they saw my sister,

“Oh hey, can we take a picture together?”

I used to blame myself. Why I’m not pretty like my sisters, like they want me to be?

Karena mereka aku terbiasa dengan penolakan.

Maka tak pernah kubuka pintu selain pintu kamarku.

Kalian bilang itu salahku!

Kalian bilang aku lemah!

It’s about me, it starts with me.

If only I’m more stronger

If only I could ignore them.

If only I don’t care about what people think about me.

I just wanna be loved. I’m just twelve years old back then.

I hate you, I hate me!

Because of you, I really thought that I’m unworthy,

I’m ugly, nobody loves me, I’m nothing special.

I hate me!

Why I believe in them? Why I’m so weak?

Why I let them let me down?

Well hey, let me tell you

Now, I’m different. I’m learning about myself.

I’m pretty, I deserve every love that I can have.

I can wear any clothes that I like, I’m allowed to dream big

I’m special. I can be everything that I wannabe.

You can’t let me down! I love me!

You are nothing!

(2018)

Pasal Fakir Miskin dan Anak Terlantar

Close your eyes, you do not want to see them

Neither to them who saw many starvations

Corpses of ants and bugs are their friends

It is dark already

The mother is slicing  bread

Her child is crying while holding a doll with only one hand left

Half for her child and half for a stray dog that has been waiting

“The bread is very hard to chew, it hurts my teeth”

Her eyes start to gloom

If only…

Under a bright bloody colored umbrella

With only a small lamp above their head

Small plate

A few fork and spoon

A cheap knife

And a simple fan

            If only….

Close your eyes you do not want to see them

They also do not want to see what is left on the trash bin

There is no food there

They know

But with tears on their eyes, they keep searching

            If only….

They promise them bread and meat

But they only got bruises and thin mat

Under the bright moon

They can’t return

But they have to go home soon

Or the night patrol will catch them

And treat them like not humans

             If only…..

Close your eyes, you do not want to see them

But you do not have to

They will not here tomorrow

Only the doll with both of it hands have been sewn

Of course, it is on the trash bin

              If only….

(2019)